Really? I know I get in a funk during the dark winter months and even during the wet months of spring --- but the warm, sunny summer months? UGH....is all I have to say about that. Maybe it's that I feel like it's gone by so fast that I haven't had time to enjoy it --- maybe I'm already worried about it being over --- maybe it's just that life seems to be crazy busy and a bit out of control right now. Whatever it is....I need to snap out of it! Now...right now...of course, I know how. It's not the weather either. Its all me...trying to be self sufficient and thinking I can control everything around me. I need to give up that control -- give it to the Lord, so I can enjoy every moment for what it is and not be wishing it was different, better, more controlled. How come that is so hard for me? What about who I am makes me a type A personality who needs to always be the one in charge? This is definitely my weakness when it comes to my walk with the Lord. This keeps me from drawing nearer to Him and leaning on Him. It isn't until I find myself in this funk, that the lightbulb turns on, OH YEAH! --- I need to let HIM be in charge. That is so painful for me. Even growing up, I can't remember a time when I wasn't self-sufficient. I rarely needed anyone to take care of me. I still don't. Don't get me wrong, I love it when David takes care of me....I just want to control HOW he takes care of me. I know --- that's not how marriage works. So, add this to my current funk.
So, there you go. My current funk....I need to find a way to balance my need to be in control. I need to let the LORD control me and my surroundings. I need to accept that others are perfectly capable of being in charge. I need to work on this. I can't do it by myself...okay, Lord....mold me.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Took a walk yesterday with the boys and snapped a couple of pictures:
A self portrait:
A picture of the house from the park - we painted the last side brown last weekend:
Have a great day - thanks for letting me vent and get that in writing. Sometimes that is all I need to snap out of it!